Some chick, who got rid of her tits is calling herself a man, but I noticed a few things that make it clear that she is in fact a deliberately unattractive woman, rather than a man.
1) No y chromosome.
2) No Dick. While some people with y chromosomes, chose to be seperated from their dick, they officially lose their manhood (literaly, it is refered to as “losing your manhood,” kinda like marriage, only less painful) when they cut off their cranks.
3) no testicles. No testicles, makes the dick useless, therefore not a man.
4) Being FUCKING PREGNANT!
There are of course numerous more methods of identification, but those are the ones that I have chosen to include.
Laura Ingraham’s co-host producer guy said “MEN, do not have ‘fat pants,’” so I will include that one, but I think that this should be my random inclusion for the moment, inviting all of you to take part in the way of the “Ways to tell that you are not a man,” contest. Just see it as my bi-annual equivalent of LauraW’s Haiku contests.
MANSON, Wash. — A Westland couple celebrating their one-year wedding anniversary in Washington State barely escaped disaster when a 600-pound cow fell 200 feet and landed on the hood of their minivan.
The county fire chief says the couple were lucky they weren’t killed by the cow that fell off a cliff as they drove on a highway on Sunday.
The van was heavily damaged, including a broken windshield.
Charles Everson says he kept repeating, “I don’t believe this. I don’t believe this.”
Westland, if you haven’t guessed already, is in — Michigan.
No one died, her girlfriend didn’t leave her, Bush didn’t get re-elected for a third time — what could she be so upset about?
A puppy!!! Ellen was a dumbass and adopted a rescue dog and was surprised when it didn’t get along with her cats so she gave the dog to someone else. The rescue dog place made her sign an agreement that if she couldn’t keep the dog — she’d return it. It’s a rescue dog, dipshit. They don’t want to have to re-rescue dogs that are passed around by idiots who adopt them on a whim.
Watch and be amazed at her moonbatty little tantrum…
I have a reason to dwell on poochies, but it’s not my place.
Anyways, two comments by the same person at the Hostages, were beautiful, inspirational and true in a way that man can’t understand.
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown…
Will Rogers said something to the effect of, “If dogs don’t go to heaven, I want to go where they go.”
I second that.
that was MOMinuteman.
His moniker might make him sound like some right wing extremist, but he understands poochies so quickly and easily that the reast of the hostages (there are 6 of us, and all but one are dog people) couldn’t respond.
MOMinutemen, I might disagree with you in the future about other things, but you said it. You said it best about mans best “friend.” I personaly don’t think they are a friend, they are a family member, and we are their pack.
Thank you VERY much for those reminders MOMinuteman.
Apparently this was posted yesterday at IB though there seems to be a lot of protesting about exactly the date of posting, that makes me think “Thou dost” or is it “doth?” whatever it is, still, it doesn’t matter it’s about as cute as you get. I could gank the vid and post it here, but I rather you visit IB and do it there.
I was THIS CLOSE! to sinking myself into almost unredeemable debt, to attend university and become a lawyer, maybe a politician based on Allah’s headline.
Then I find out that MKH isn’t in favor of barely legal, but rather understand the legality’s of how “barely legal” is still “legal.”
Now, all I can hope for is for us to share views on 110% naturals.
BERLIN (Reuters) - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.
The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.
With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.
The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.
“After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man’s garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh,” the spokesman said. “Then he killed it with his crutch.”
JAIPUR, India (Reuters) - A 73-year-old Indian farmer who vowed not to marry before passing his high school exams has failed to get through for the 38th time.
Shiv Charan Yadav has been taking the exams — normally given to schoolchildren at the age of 15 — every year since 1969, without success.
This year, he failed everything except Sanskrit, scoring only 103 out of a possible 600 points.
“Once I pass I want to get married to a girl who’s under 30,” Yadav, who lives alone in Kohari village in the western desert state of Rajasthan, told Reuters.
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - A district judge on Tuesday granted a defendant’s unusual request to be sent to prison for breaking into women’s homes and stealing their undergarments, his attorney said.
Officials had recommended probation for Steven Quatkemeyer, 40, as part of a plea agreement in which he pleaded guilty to felony stalking and two counts of felony burglary. Prosecutors dropped several misdemeanors and six other felony counts in exchange for the plea.
“I apologize to the families affected from the bottom of my heart,” Quatkemeyer told the court. “After a couple of weeks of incarceration, I realized what I had done was very wrong.”
He also asked for a prison term and got four years.
BRISBANE, Australia - Two assailants broke into a man’s trailer and attacked him with a swordfish snout in eastern Australia early Wednesday, leaving the victim with cuts to his arms, back and hands, police said.
The victim, who was not identified, claimed the two suspects assaulted him with the serrated, sword-like bill during a home invasion in the eastern city of Bundaberg, Queensland state police said.
Paramedics treated the man for his injuries.
It was not clear where the alleged attackers found the swordfish snout, or how big it was. Police said they were not investigating the incident because the man had withdrawn his complaint.
Characterized by their long, sharp snouts, swordfish are predatory fish that can grow up to 13 feet long.
ROCK BLUFF, Fla. - A woman was injured over the weekend by a leaping sturgeon, the latest incident involving the flying fish on the Suwannee River, officials said.
Tara Spears, 32, of Bell, was knocked unconscious by the animal on Sunday while boating on the river north of Rock Bluff, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reported.
She was taken to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries and was expected to recover, the agency reported.
The large, prehistoric-looking sturgeon have hard plates along their backs. They can grow up to 8 feet long and up to 200 pounds.
BRAINERD, Minn. - Kandi Hanson has a history of run-ins with deer. She totaled her first car and damaged two others in collisions with deer. This weekend, the deer struck back.
As Hanson approached the halfway mark of the 10-kilometer Sour Grapes Half and Half run Saturday, a spooked deer darted out of the woods and crashed into Hanson, tossing the 28-year-old into the air and sending her sprawling onto the grass before disappearing into the woods.
As though any of you read this place, but don’t read Hotair (I think I would call that person my ex australian girlfriend, who I’m still friends with, and who disagree’s with me greatly when it comes to politics)
I actually watched the Fred! and Jay Leno interview, and while I did listen to him handle the questions well, and maintain his demeanor in a way without being fed clearly insincere lines by the host as hillary had in 2K, that didn’t capture me.
What I noticed, is that Fred! never left the 3/4 left pose while talking to jay, and I wondered why that . . . .not stiff, but rather constant position. Then I noticed, it appears that Fred! has a facial scar that moves from the left corner of his mouth all the way up to that little nub that rests just in front of the orifice of the ear.
Personaly, if it is a facial scar, I say Fred! should tell the story for two reasons.
Dudes Respect other dudes with facial scars and good stories.
Chicks, don’t care about the story, but if you can keep your features with a facial scar, then chicks think they are hot!
Play it up, thats a 5% bounce right there.
Unless it is a story that consists of you seperating your pit bull from a dog fight he had just won right before rufus (all people with southern accents name their big dogs rufus) turned on you, or a rabbit attack. I think many of us are aware that NiiiiiiceDeb’s “niblets” is running wild.
Remember that gigantic pig killed by the kid, and we all thought, “hey, that kid has some nuts taking on a giant pig with a pistol!”
Well it turns out that “monster pig” was actually “fred” the loveable cuddly monster pig, and that kid is just the neighborhood bully who takes joy in slaughtering his neighbors pets!
Not really, I guess it’s not uncommon to allow harvesting of largely domesticated animals who are too old and stuff, but I can’t help but think how odd a form of euthenasia that is. Can you imagine Kevorkian “assisting” people to die by giving someone on a hunting vacation a gun then telling his “patients” to “run?” Just doesn’t seem like as fun a story anymore.
EAGLE CREEK, Ore., May 28 Police were looking for an Oregon man who allegedly locked three pigs in his home hoping they would trash it after the house went into foreclosure.
Detective Jim Strovink of the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office said Shane Lovett of Eagle Creek had been distraught about the foreclosure and joked to neighbors he had locked the pigs in his home more than a week ago without any food or water, KGW-TV in Portland, Ore., reported Monday.
Deputies responded to a neighbor’s complaint about the pigs and found the inside and outside of the house had been trashed. Thomas Getten, an animal rescue expert, said the pigs were dehydrated but otherwise healthy after he coaxed them outside.
CAIRO, Egypt — Customs officers at Cairo’s airport on Thursday detained a man bound for Saudi Arabia who was trying to smuggle 700 live snakes on a plane, airport authorities said.
The officers were stunned when a passenger, identified as Yahia Rahim Tulba, after being asked to open his carryon bag, told them it contained live snakes.
Tulba opened his bag to show the snakes to the police and asked the officers, who held a safe distance, not to come close. Among the various snakes, hidden in small cloth sacks, were two poisonous cobras.
The Egyptian said he had hoped to sell the snakes in Saudi Arabia. Police confiscated the snakes and turned Tulba over to the prosecutor’s office, accusing him of violating export laws and endangering the lives of other passengers.
According to the customs officials, Tulba claimed the snakes are wanted by Saudis who display them in glass jars in shops, keep them as pets or sell them to research centers.
The value of the snakes was not immediately known.
