Not gonna suck

I think this is going to be pretty good in about five hours.

Last night’s non-Warrior Diet effort after the jump.

Dude, where’s the blondes?

Ok, I’m pushing the meme a little bit. But, I thought this was a cool map.

Blondes in Europe:

From Strange Maps

The Ikea commercial that you’ll never see…

Until now.

Brought to you by the fine folks of Ikea Germany, making fun of the Swedish midsummer tradition, the day when everybody in Sweden gets drunk and dances around a Maypole. Ikea headquarters put the kibosh on it.

Like Germans don’t get drunk and run around in silly little pants.

Damn Scandis

h/t Innocent Bystanders, follow the link for a very funny song about gerbils — Wickedpinto’s favorite snack food.

This is why the internet is great

Not because my retarded ass can make these silly semi-sane, and scarcely coherent posts on a blog that celebrates milestones with crackheads, but because other sites are able to make money by having a countdown to the moment when Hayden is available for legal vaginal abuse. Or maybe, for a change in focus of her craft towards HARDCORE PORN!

Update:  It is now Okay to fantacize about hayden while masturbating without feeling guilt.

Who says Islamic chicks don’t put out?

Your military dollars at work. Heh.

Thanks to Mike Z.

A day in the life..

Of Wickedpinto

No shame, no gain.

Or as WP would say, “I don’t care if she’s fat, I’d hit that ass like a Mack truck driven by Lindsay Lohan.”

Video found over at Madfish Willie’s.

THIS CLOSE!

I was THIS CLOSE! to sinking myself into almost unredeemable debt, to attend university and become a lawyer, maybe a politician based on Allah’s headline.

Then I find out that MKH isn’t in favor of barely legal, but rather understand the legality’s of how “barely legal” is still “legal.”

Now, all I can hope for is for us to share views on 110% naturals.

A celebrity link.

She has great knockers but she’s still a moron.

Inside the mind of Wickedpinto

More at xkcd.

I don’t know who invented it…

but it had to be a man. 

 Apparently Lybrel is a new oral contraceptive, you know other than the old oral contraceptive that men have been trying to sell women on for years, and still doesn’t top the market unfortunately.

 In addition to being a new oral contraceptive it also reduces the instance of menstruation, sometimes completely.  Now I know lady’s you are thinking “this is a miracle drug,”  some guys might disagree.

 While it appears that we can no longer use the excuse of “she’s on the rag” which is to the benefit of women all over the world (except most islamic nations where, really it doesn’t matter, you will just be beaten with 11 guage wire anyways) it still doesn’t teach you how to cook, or not scream at the sight of mice, or wake up your hubby or boyfriend when you see a spider.

 Other than that, it’s one of the best inventions ever.

Kama Sutra positions for internet writers losers

Disappointing Bear:

When all normal methods of meeting women prove fruitless, the man crafts a bear suit and attends a furry convention. He hopes to find a decent looking frog to make out with, but is willing to settle for anything that’s female at this point. As the others point and laugh at his poorly constructed costume, the man hangs his head and weeps.

Many more here.

Not to be confused with this.

Update: Heh, RG points out the obvious, which I completely missed — obviously.

What you can’t see is the clarinet in the bear’s right hand.

Hugo, you sly boy

He’s been holding out on us.

There may yet be hope for Venezuela.

Milka (heh) Duno passed her IRL driving test today. She has five masters degrees and is 35 years old, which puts her right on the edge of my ‘will not date anyone under 35′ window. She has had success at the 24 hours of Daytona (2nd) and has won a couple of Grand Am races. She’s pretty late to the racing game, which makes it all that much sexier.

I’m more than willing to volunteer my efforts in USA/Venezuelan relations.

IRL’s Duno ups degree of difficulty for everyone

Update: Check out her web site for more Milka goodness.

And a Blogger Gone.

In her last post “I’m done” Feisty is closing the legs of her blog.

Which is fitting, seeing as how that is pretty much how she left all of her previous contracts of employment.

Feisty should stay active and sign on to a group somewhere so we can all share in her wisdom.

Edit: I edited in a joke to replace a cliche’

Edit: OH! CRAP!!! ummm, also, she’s not dead!  She’s just not blogging.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

Rosie’s gone, via allah/hotair via tmz (tmz tends to be pretty reliable, every tip for them that I see being repeated tends to work out well) but my concern is. . .

I think that we benefit when these complete retards are allowed to share their opinions about stuff they know nothing about, while they are lecturing us about that very stuff, and judging us about it.  I think we could take great advantage of people who are so stupid, and so wrong, that we can feed them a question and actualy proffit by having at least one definitive negative.

 Example:

Me:So, Rosie I was thinking about getting married but I’m not sure, she’s great, she’s wealthy, talented, loves me is great in bed, but theres just something that makes me wonder, what should I do?

Rosie: “giver her a chance.”

Result: I dump her right then and there.

that is usefull info to have, and only people as profoundly stupid as rosie can offer it.

A Blogger is Back.

Spudder has returned, read his latest.

I’m _______!

I keel you!

Time for the first edition of the Absolute Moral Authority Name That Superhero Contest!

This is the one and only Michael from Innocent Bystanders, the blog where there is no blogging — just commenting. Oops, I gave away his secret indentity. Oh well, I’m sure it won’t take the police too long to figure out who he is if they catch him running around town in that outfit trying to ‘rescue’ people.

Michael fancies himself a spindly legged Batman, but since that name is already taken I thought it would be nice if the legion* who visit Absolute Moral Authority could help him choose an identity.

So, help a super fella out and come up with a super duper moniker for our musically inclined hero.

The winner will receive a $4.98 gift certificate to Maid-Rite whenever I get around to it.

Bonus question — who shall be his Robin? And, will it hurt?

*legion = 4 1/2 gomers

Image courtesy of Geoff at Uncommon Misconceptions.

Update: Ok, lot’s of you are checking out this post but are not entering a comment. If you don’t play — you can’t win. If your reason for not commenting is fear of reprisal from Michael (he’s really mean, I know), make up a name and put your real moniker (that’s your nick, WickedPinto) in the email address box. I’ll figure it out from there.

Khalid Sheikh O’Donnell

For Rosetta…

Kudos to this dude.

Blogorific

I’m still new to this blogging thing. Three months.

It’s pretty fun, a little time consuming. But, I felt a responsibility to at least throw some of my thoughts out there if I was going to keep commenting and voicing my opinion on other’s blogs.

Welcome to the dark and dirty world of blog admin.

The dashboard can be an addiction at first. Do I get hits? Who’s visiting and why?

Then you see the search results that brought people to your site.

Kinda scary.

Just from the last two days so there is a little overlap:

cat poo coffee pig
moo and oink theme
january 21, 2007 fatal accident detroit
“support our troops”
deep fried beer bacon wrapped cheese dog
deep fried bacon wrapped cheese dog
muslim sources of moral authority
moral authority islam
cost of canned monkey meat
mullah cimoc march 2007 4
“is gone. And as soon” 3
bacon cheese hot dog deep fried 2
viet nam animal rape
abandoned Detroit
bacon cheese deep fried hot dog
Michigan attempted breaking and entering
deep fried hot dog
cat poo
hamster cardboard tube
responses to Mount St Helens
pig fucker love
fried hot dog cheese bacon
moo cow vegetable
i hate you
sentient burger
bart is gay
chicken shoot
batman buttsex
fry my weenie
hobo pizza fuck

Ok,. I’m getting tired of pulling off the number of hits.

moralauthority.wordpress.com 6
terrapass 3
facts about global warming faults? 3
i hate authority 2
eid al walid 2007 2
hate comcast 2
beer funnel ass 1
mullah cimoc march 2007 2
bacon wrapped deep fried cheese dog 2
moral authority 2
beer cheese dog 2
possum in ass 2
fried bacon 2
“The Great Global Warming Scandal” youtu 4
i hate comcast 3
chicken sex boy 2
old shellalagh detroit 3
deep fried bacon 3
detroit “seven mile” lebanese heads 3
moralauthority.wordpress.com 3
deep fried hot dogs bacon cheese 1
cimoc production 1
finger texas dave pool 1
small monkey fun shit 1
co2 lag temperature “global warming 1
bacon wrapped deep fried cheese hot dogs 1
absolute moral mesablue 1
slimy poodle ass 1
stupid people crimes 1
send my shit to Idaho 1
global warming interesting title 1
pepper rabbit fun explode 1
“CO2 concentration” “atmosphere” 2007 1
bacon cheese fried hot dogs 1
small dog sex 1
arabic stores in detroit area 1
edge detroit strip club 1
The pictures that got Miss Nevada dethro 1
super stat futur Beirut Lebanon 1
funny cat pics 1
scary dead animal pics 1
“indoctrinate u” thoughts 1
leonardo dicaprio 1
hotdog, bacon, cheese 1
bacon cheese deep-fried hot dog 1
comcast hate site 1
butts are pretty 1
contribution of volcanoes of CO2 1
irina absolut skinny 1
snausages SOUND BITE 1
authority hate 1
great global warming scandal 1
comcast “cranky” commercial 1
real news, stupid people, stupid stunt 1
picture of restaurant front 1
charlie brown celebrates ramadan 1
Major Religions in lebanon 1
why bush is anty global warming 1
crimes found on facebook 1
my cat hates you 1
global warming contribution of co2 1
Britain’s Channel documentary “The Great 1
crab cake 1
youtube global warming scandal 1
hot dogs higher authority 1
fredericksburg islam halal 1
deep fried bacon wrapped hot dog 1
hot dog wrapped in bacon 1
culture of East Dearborn versus West Dea 1
global seed fault 1
indoctrinate you 1
“lego factory” +texas 1
=where you can be of moral support to yo 1

I put up a bunch of posts that I hope will have enough content that at least a few people will want to visit again.

If you look at the search results, if I want a successful blog, all I have to do is write about deep fried bacon and cheese hot dogs — and animal sex and I’ll get thousands of hits.

I did write about deep fried hot dogs and berserk donkeys and super rabbits.

Just didn’t think it would be judged as my best work by the blog surfers.

I think it’s time to change the name of the blog to — Absolute Deep Fried Moral Cheese Donkeys and Hot Super Rabbit Dogs.

Whadya think?

And, Leonardo DiCaprio?

I know I didn’t write a single thing about that little pussbag.

Though, he didn’t completely suck in Departed — he is just not at all believable as a tough guy. Richard Simmons could kick his ass on a bad hangover day — after sweatin’ with the oldies in a pile of seventy year old baby oiled man flesh.

Great, what kind of hits am I going to get after that sentence?

And, to those of you that actually know me in person — I haven’t completely lost it. The search results are all true, some of the rest is an inside joke.

Spurwing, buddy — need your help here.

Experience is everything

One of Detroit’s better exports.

Heh, I bought my truck at his Dodge Dealership — Bruce Campbell Dodge.

Miss Nevada

The number one Technorati search term for today is Miss Nevada and our buddy Ace just happens to have a post up with pictures: Beauty Queens Gone Wild: The Photos That Got Miss Nevada Dethroned

Please pay him a visit.

I need to get back to regular posting without looking at my page count every five minutes.

This should just about do it.

If you want to see the pictures without all of the little stars, they are here: Splash News Online

Thanks.