Absolute Moral Authority

Because plain old moral authority just wasn’t good enough — a mesablue production

I’m gonna get medieval on your ass

Posted by mesablue on April 20, 2007

No really.

From Wickedpinto land:

Girl Attacks Teacher With Medieval Weapon

Post-Tribune) GARY, Ind. The freshman girl told police she was “tired of getting picked on,” so she took a mace to school.

Not Mace, the pepper spray.

Mace, as in a medieval weapon.

A long wooden stick attached to a metal chain with a spiked ball on the end.

The 15-year-old swung it at a teacher Thursday morning but struck a fellow student who intervened, Gary police said. The victim, a 19-year-old Lew Wallace High School senior, suffered cuts on her hand and thumb protecting the teacher. School security detained the freshman and confiscated the weapon.

“It’s heavy, and it’s metal, and it’s sharp,” Detective Sgt. Darlene Breitenstein said after delivering the girl to the Lake County (Ind.) Juvenile Justice Center, where she is being held on battery charges.

Ouch. +11 Mace of smashlyness can really hurt.

Ugh, Lauraw found this before I did. Just when I thought I’d found the perfect AoS front page linkwhore post……

Heh, haven’t seen this one anywhere:

Police subdue naked woman wielding sword

A naked woman wielding a 3-foot-long sword was taken to a hospital Wednesday after an encounter with police at her home.

13 Responses to “I’m gonna get medieval on your ass”

  1. How the hell did she get a mace? What possible reason is there for people to make, sell and buy real mace’s nowadays? I understand the historians angle, but a replica would do fine for that. It’s not exactly a sneak weapon is it? Although I’d guess it was a tad smaller than the Witch King’s mace in Return Of The King lolololol.

  2. gonna get medievil on your ass

    great headline.

  3. I think I was, 14 maybe 15 when my brother came home after spending time in the AF. My brother STOLE, Yeah, thats not an uncommon thing, but my brother stole an AF honor sword, because my brother was a good enough service member to be in the honor guard. Somehow he stole his honor sword, and scabbard, and I hung it in my bedroom, because, well, I’m a little brother, and I love my big brother.

    Anways, the reason I give that background.

    On a wall of my bedroom when I was 15 or 16 (I think PERHAPS a touch younger but who knows) I woke up in the middle of the night. My parents were freshley divorced (no more animosity than any normal family) and my dad was working and I was sleeping, so I wake up in the middle of the night in a darkened house, and I turned to where my little maltese was barking (the midget can jump ON my bed, but not off it?) and because Maccy (my dogs name) gave up my position with his barking.

    the “burgler” maybe “rapist” maybe “murderer” maybe “scout” for “property invasion” (knew a guy who said, no shit, this is my home town, ” I survived for a while on property invasion, I really don’t like it.(HOW GOOD OF HIM! he didn’t like it, he will terrorize family’s but not like it))

    Anyways, That guy who broke into my family house heard my macky barking, and put his flashlight on me. I was woken up, really there are few things more irritating while you sleep than a small protective dog thats a coward. (I’m not including ANY “progressives.” in this)

    So The flashlight hit my eyes, I closed my eyes, and I don’t think the guy noticed me, he was just watching my poochie who weighed about the same as a mochaa venti laate with extra cream or whatever it’s called.

    I heard the “burgler” shin himself on the coffee table.

    No shit, This is an approximate depiction.

    I set my little poochy macky on the ground to chase the burglar, I dropped down to the ground, and then I grabbed. NO SHIT, my brothers AF Honor Guard sword, and I didn’t just chase him out of the house, I chased him down the block.

    Near the end of the block, I realized, “I can only get into the house through the window, go back now and call the police.”

    I SO wish I were able to outrun that fuck, no really, I REALLY wish I could have stabbed that motherfucker.

    What if My mom were there? what if my girlfriend were there, what if he had harmed my brother?

    He took those risks by entering “MY” house. He should have died at sword point.

  4. Basic point.

    I have, in my life, chased a criminal away from my family home by “swinging” a sword.

    Thats absolutely friggen true.

  5. Just as well you didn’t catch and kill him, you’d be convicted of murder. Deserve it or not, he was running away…..self defense allows you to use whatever you deem to be appropriate at the time to protect you or your family…..in your case, the threat was over, you were the (provoked and pissed off) aggressor.

  6. cranky said

    Wicked, you would have sent a hell of a message to every crook in the state if you could have disemboweled the perp.

  7. mesablue said


    Were you naked?

  8. Alwas been a PJ guy Mesa, but I was shirtless, which was pretty impressive for my age at the time. The whole wrestling thing.

  9. Joe said

    Dammit Mesa, I knew it.

  10. mesablue said


    Check out the second link about the naked sword wielding woman. If WP was also ‘freeing Willy’ they would make an interesting dynamic duo.

  11. Joe said

    A scene of post apocalyptic chaos indeed.

  12. Lisa said


    When you order pizza delivery tonight…. answer the door with just your dyc hat on so we can have something interesting to read on your blog tomorrow.

  13. Riki said

    Some interesting facts from this blog.I like similar.Rgds R.

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