Absolute Moral Authority

Because plain old moral authority just wasn’t good enough — a mesablue production

Indy 500

Posted by Wickedpinto on May 27, 2007

Apparently Ashley Judd’s husband Franchetti, whoever that is, won the Indianapolis 500 after 166 laps, the race was called because of rain.

My question, The Indy 500 is called the “Indy 500” because it is a 500 mile race over 200 laps on a 2.5 mile track.

So. . . . do the spectators get re-imbursed for the 85 miles they didn’t get to view? Or are they gonna call this years race, the Indianapolise 415?  I’m just curious.

I hate the “sport” of any driving race, though I appreciate the skill, I think it’s boring, I can wind up my vibrating football game and play out every season but I don’t, cuz I like football.   Just saying.

To restate the outcome, some guy who gets to sleep with Ashley Judd (who was very cute in a sodden summer dress) wins the Indianapolis 415.

Edit: I screwed up, (go figure) 34 laps is 85 miles, not 90, and the Indy 500 didn’t become the Indianapolis 410, but rather the Indianapolis 415.


16 Responses to “Indy 500”

  1. T. Paine said

    I concur. It might take skill to drive that good, but it sure doesn’t make for awesome spectating. imho. I forget the guy’s name, but there’s a ventriloquist that’s been on Comedy Central a bunch of times (same show, just re-aired a lot). One of his puppets is the typical ‘redneck’ stereotype who amazingly enough rips on Nascar. “Oh look, he’s making a left turn! Look, another left turn! What’s he gonna do next!?” Funny.
    ps-Ashley Judd is teh hotness.

  2. You mean jeff dunham and walter?

  3. John said

    Agreed. As a spectator sport it IS boring, but damn I’d love to drive one of those cars just once…

  4. abarclay12 said

    You’re so right. If I was a male spectator, I’d demand either some of my money back or to spend some time with Ashley Judd.

  5. T. Paine said

    Dammit, I was thinking of the wrong puppet. Walter is frickin’ hilarious. And that Jeff Dunham guy is pretty good at the whole ventriloquism thing. I think the best is when he had the two puppets out (space alien? and the Jalapeno). They were both arguing with each other, arguing with Jeff, singing etc. FUNNY!

  6. malicenwonderland said

    I will grant that watching on Tv is boring. I’ve lived in Indianapolis for 17 years now, and I gotta tell yuh, the worlds largest one day sporting event is the most incredible spectacle I have ever seen. 300,000 to 500,000 people inside and outside the track.
    I’ve been to many major sporting events. Nothing comes close.

  7. Jerry said

    A rain-soaked Ashley Judd was one of this year’s highlights. Still, I’m glad I didn’t go. It’s hard to kill three hours at the track while you’re waiting for the track to dry up. Then it rains again. Maybe next year.

  8. Anonymous Coward said

    I thought the reason everyone went to a race is to see the crashes…

  9. unkawill said

    I was hoping for a little nipp action myself.

    She didn’t look too bad, seeing she was without makeup and all.

  10. I’ve been to a couple racing events, had an aunt who loved going to the funny’s for drag racing, and it is more than a little exhilerating to watch on site, but on the tube it’s just boring.

  11. TXMarko said

    WP – Good thing your math mixup wasn’t in the other direction, or they would have had the Indy 420. Everybody must get stoned!

    P.S. Ashley Judd cannot hold a candle to Danica Patrick, who came in third place in the race. Actually driving in the race adds hotness points faster than merely wringing ones’ hands in the pits over the safety of their significant other.

  12. Jenny said

    I hate to burst your bubble but Ms Patrick did not come in 3d. Helio Castroneves did.

  13. Yeah, I think she was 5th, she was in third at the time of the first rain delay I believe.

  14. Jenny said

    She started 8th and finished 8th…I believe.

  15. You know jenny, I would look it up, but I really don’t care. I’m almost positive that at the restart of the race after the rain delay she was either in 3rd, or she moved to third for a while.

    Now soggy ashley judd? I might look that up.

  16. jenny said

    I agree Wicked…who really cares.

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