Absolute Moral Authority

Because plain old moral authority just wasn’t good enough — a mesablue production

Does this burkha make my nose look fat?

Posted by Wickedpinto on July 30, 2010

I think the common conundrum men must face of “does this make my butt look fat?” is humorous.  I never get caught into it, because before I end up with a woman, she is well trained in my use of dysphemismistic communication.

“Honey? You are beautiful and you will be beautiful in 40 years when your breasts are so pendulous they can be used as plum lines.”

I will get smacked, but I only date chicks smart enough to get the joke and laugh and embrace me, and then ask something like “do you really think I am beautiful?”

“I would slaughter villages filled with babies just to see a painting of you.”

(the whole dysphemism thing.)

Anyways, Neo-neocon, who is awesome, asked the “does this make me look fat” question, including the hilarious geico commercial, in her post.  And then InstyMcHottersten/Dr. Helen tries to break it down based on weight, and closing out with the superficiality of men in choosing easy hits over qualitative long term mates, (she’s part rite, part wrong).

I have two points, be patient, I’m getting wordy.

I’m a guy, I know, hard to believe, but I do have external genitalia, and as a sexy well built guy I would hit chicks even less attractive than snooki back in the day.  I often say “they aren’t always the best looking, though many of them were, but they were all cool.”

The hot chicks knew they were hot, they didn’t want me, or those I didn’t sleep with but slept with my friends, wanted my friends, not because we were tripple ninja awesome, but because we were deep gauges on their bedposts, so that when they find someone who they were whipped out on, could use us as examples.  “I could call (this guy) and he would show up without problem (that is completely wrong, but that is what they did.) because we were at the prime of our life, and so was she, and she knew it, and she would manipulate her man to serve her based on the fact that guys like me and my friends had been there first.

Not a very good place to be, if the guy actually likes the girl, but that is a black eye and a small scar under my right ear I don’t care to talk about.

The Love of My life, is a little thick, the woman that I was closest to marrying was outright SCRAWNY!, I joked that she HAD to marry me so that she would be allowed to eat an entire sammich.

Women are women, and beauty is beaty, and it takes all kinds and so, on that side, ladys?  Stop reading fashion mags.  A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, be she short and thick, or tall and scrawny, be she black or white or curly haired or straight, be you poutey or arrogant be you leggy or have big feet, or big nose or big eared or cleft chinned or whatever.

The guy for you, no matter what will find you beautiful.

Now, that said.

THIS, is a beautiful girl, and I will spend most of my life in a near murderous rage knowing that some motherfucker attacked her for her beauty, and indipendence, because he was a follower of a hate filled cult.

[update:] may EVERYONE who knows the criminals name be castrated, and hung in a gibbet as he bleeds to death.

I would die tomorrow to deliver justice for this young lady, and every other who was a victim of the vile slavery that is islam in these digusting nations that support it.

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2 Responses to “Does this burkha make my nose look fat?”

  1. Blazer said

    “does this make my butt look fat ?”

    Actually, guys who wore skin-tight mens designer jeans back in the eighties like Jordache and Sergio Valente asked themselves that same question from time to time too.

    Not that I’d know anything about that mind you.

  2. Jordache Blazer?

    Really? Next time you think or relating that half hearted confession, punch yourself in the face 🙂

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